Saturday, August 28, 2010

Ask The Petsjubilee Pets: Alien Dogs?

Hi all,
Your furry friend, Sasha-the dachshund, here. As promised from last week, we are answering this letter:

Dear Sasha, Why does my Chihuahua cairn mix like to go to bed very early and sleep very late- sometimes until noon? Do Chi's do this?Also, she eats basil and lemon mint, while my other doggies don't. I find this quite unusual. Is it because she likes spicy Mexican food?signedis my dog an alien in PA

Dear Is My Dog An Alien In PA,
Sasha, the little wiener dog here. I have a cousin that is a Chihuahua and she sleeps all the time except for when she is growling at me. Can I help that I like to stick my cold wet nose where it doesn't belong?
Oh, well. Basically, I know some dogs do sleep a lot. But, with us wienies we usually are only pretending to sleep. Once our humans are completely out (REM sleep is the best and my doxie mind control device tells me exactly when they are in REM sleep, too.) is when we dachshund's like to party. We have doggy poker games (I think you all have viewed the painting.), on-line dating (How I met my beloved Oscar from NJ.), wiener dog races, and of course cabinet climbing to get to the good treats the humans hide up high. Some humans think that crating us will keep us away from our nightly madness, but we have mastered crate escapes so well we think the humans shouldn't even bother.
As far as the spicy foods go, we dogs all have particular tastes for things. For instance, my big bro likes the new rabbit pellet like dog kibbles that Mommy brought home when the store was out of our brand. I personally think I rather eat worms. Really, the bigger and juicier the better. I miss my kibble and I make sure my Mommy knows it every time she puts the bowl down for me.
So, basically, I really don't think your dog is an alien. However, in the Dachshund Guide To Taking Over The World Edition Two, it does state ten potential signs that a fellow K9 might be from another planet.

1. The K9 is overly knowledgeable in technology. Can master internet, blogging, tweeting, on-line purchases of toys and treats, and still program a DVR.
2. The K9 is often spotted wearing a fish bowl on his/her head, as well as, carrying a ray gun in his/her paws.
3. The K9's fur or hair comes in designer colors such as neon green, purple, and glow in the dark.
4. The K9 starts to resemble a human way too much, and has poop that is almost bigger than itself.
5. The K9 may see certain city landmarks as chew toys.
6. The K9 often choices space themed bedding and collars.
7. The K9 has barked the words "Beam Me Up, Scotty!"
8. The K9 rides a motorcycle with a space ship side car.
9. All pugs who enjoy wearing snuggly alien head gear should be considered very suspicious .
10. The K9 has a stuffed alien Chihuahua that is both a chew toy and an alter ego to blame for any minor damage done to grass while practicing crop circle formations.

I hope this helps relieve your fears that your dog may be an alien. If not, then don't worry most alien dogs are only here for the bacon.
Your Friend In Fur,

Next Sunday we will be answering this letter and maybe a few more:

Dear Sasha,
Whenever I lay on my back trying to cool off my under parts, my human has to come over and kiss my belly. Then she pulls all 4 of my feet one at a time making these silly noises. How do I get her to stop doing this?
annoyed and embarrassed

Please, e-mail your questions for Ask The Petsjubilee Pets to Also, please put APP in the subject of the letter.

Click on the picture below to get to a special treasury featuring ETSY alien doggy items.


Art and Sew Forth said...

At 2am, I am seeing UFO's in the shape of Chi's and Wieners....
I don't know Sasha...I think we are being observed by aliens trying to practice incognito through K9s!

makingstuffwithlove said...

This is just hilarious! Sasha, you just crack me up. I'll have to watch out for that manual to make sure my dogs aren't reading it lol I just knew you Doxies were playing while we were sleeping, now I know for sure --you and your Doxie mind control :) And take heart, the rabbit kibbles will be gone before you know it lol

doodypops said...

thank you Sasha!
Now I know why she is so sleepy and acts hung over- she has been having parties!
You are also correct about the growling, so that makes me feel better. Plus she does dye her hair for Halloween!
I must comment on weiner dogs escape success...we had them when i was a kid and they got out of a locked bathroom while we were out . Oddly enough, they also walked through plants on the windowsill and we could see they had somehow gotten into the sink (these were minis BTW). Then when we returned, they were back- BACK in the walk in shower (uncommon in those days) and the plexi barrier was still neatly in place.
After reading your guide to alien behavior, I am though somewhat concerned about the other wore one of those cat toys on his head- you know the sphere with spokes going around and the mouse strung in the middle? AND the other likes worms!
I am going tobe keping an eye on them.

Yes, no pug should be trusted!

Jennifer said...

Ah, I love this!! Great answer Sasha, and now I know how to spot an alien dog!!

Mary said...

Great answer, Sasha! :) I think My Shih Tzu Sally is from an alien planet. Her center of gravity definitely isn't calibrated for Earth, which makes her constant unbalanced. LOL

Giupetto and Gianna Tails said...

Sasha, great job answering that one. Wow, I just never knew. So when I get out of bed and dogs look at me like "what, just leaves us here, we's tired" I know it is because they were up and about all night long.

AngelPups said...

Excellent answer, Sasha! Very informative...and now I'm wondering, since so many pups do have the capability to communicate through the internet, if there isn't some blog somewhere out there in the blogosphere written by pups in which Scruffy wants to know if his human might be alien?!? We do have some handy tricks that must baffle our K9 friends.....