Once upon a time, there were three bears that lived in a national park. These three bears were rather troublesome bears, but smarter than most folks gave them credit. They spent most of their days looking for pranks to play on the park visitors and most of their nights looking for food or even a refreshing soft drink once in awhile. Some times they would go speed dating with the cub scouts, but not very often.
One day, the eldest brown bear named "Montana" got the idea to go skinny dipping in one of the favorite park visitors' swimming holes. When one of the tourists from Japan got a picture with a cell phone of his bear behind, and she quickly posted all it over twitter and Facebook. It went viral in 15 minutes time.
His two bros Black-eye and Rebel started to tease him about mooning the world. This made Montana very grumpy since he got woken up early from hibernation cause one of his two bros decided to TP the den with real used toilet paper from the parks out houses. It got pretty smelly in there by the end of February.
Anyways, Montana was going to teach this Japanese tourist a lesson even if it did cause an international incident. Cause she just crossed the wrong bear today.
Montana jogged over to the van and as the young lady was just getting in to the passenger seat. He stuck his head in the open window and burped a big foul smelling fish breath belch right in her face.
She screamed and the van drove off. Montana was proud of himself for teaching her a lesson until the news crews started to show up.
Apparently, no one could translate Japanese very well cause all they could understand from her was big bear attacked me. There were hundreds on news crews and animal behaviorist documentary film stars all gathered around the spot were Montana had belched. Montana tried to hide in the swimming hole, but it was doing no good.
They put up a temporary bear proof fence around the hole, and the media was all waiting until the experts could be called in to decide how to handle this vicious bear.
Then, out of a fancy jeep stepped "The Bearinator". All the bears grew up seeing reruns of this guy trying to talk to the bears. He was supposedly some kind of bear whisper, but all the bears joked that his mama must of ate the fermented fruit before he was born, cause he don't know nothing about us bears.
The Bearinator stepped toward the fence and crouched down on one knee. He watched the bears, and the bears watched him. This continued for some time until he nodded for someone to open a corner of the temporary fencing. He stepped inside the fence and sat on the ground right by the opening.
Montana started to laugh. He couldn't help it. He could kill this bear expert with one swipe of his paw and this guy was just sitting there.
Montana turned to fetch a bag of potato chips to enjoy this show of what his bros will do to this guy, when the crowd all oooed like the Bearinator just did something totally awesome.
Montana was starting to think humans were either incredibly stupid or all of them were suffering heat stroke because they couldn't get to the swimming hole.
Montana reached for the bag of potato chips, and the Bearinator walking on all fours moved a little closer to the water.
Then, suddenly, there was a loud bang from behind Montana, and everything went crazy.