Story Time: You Add To It.

Last week's story has ended very nicely so check it out at this story time link. I love the way you all think and come up with new twists for the story. We have a lot of creative people on our team and I do hope you all enjoy the process, too. Now, off to start a new story. Please, add your parts to it throughout the week in the comments below.

Once upon a time, there were three bears that lived in a national park. These three bears were rather troublesome bears, but smarter than most folks gave them credit. They spent most of their days looking for pranks to play on the park visitors and most of their nights looking for food or even a refreshing soft drink once in awhile. Some times they would go speed dating with the cub scouts, but not very often.

One day, the eldest brown bear named "Montana" got the idea to go skinny dipping in one of the favorite park visitors' swimming holes. When one of the tourists from Japan got a picture with a cell phone of his bear behind, and she quickly posted all it over twitter and Facebook. It went viral in 15 minutes time.

His two bros Black-eye and Rebel started to tease him about mooning the world. This made Montana very grumpy since he got woken up early from hibernation cause one of his two bros decided to TP the den with real used toilet paper from the parks out houses. It got pretty smelly in there by the end of February.

Anyways, Montana was going to teach this Japanese tourist a lesson even if it did cause an international incident. Cause she just crossed the wrong bear today.

Montana jogged over to the van and as the young lady was just getting in to the passenger seat. He stuck his head in the open window and burped a big foul smelling fish breath belch right in her face.

She screamed and the van drove off. Montana was proud of himself for teaching her a lesson until the news crews started to show up.

Apparently, no one could translate Japanese very well cause all they could understand from her was big bear attacked me. There were hundreds on news crews and animal behaviorist documentary film stars all gathered around the spot were Montana had belched. Montana tried to hide in the swimming hole, but it was doing no good.

They put up a temporary bear proof fence around the hole, and the media was all waiting until the experts could be called in to decide how to handle this vicious bear.

Then, out of a fancy jeep stepped "The Bearinator". All the bears grew up seeing reruns of this guy trying to talk to the bears. He was supposedly some kind of bear whisper, but all the bears joked that his mama must of ate the fermented fruit before he was born, cause he don't know nothing about us bears.

The Bearinator stepped toward the fence and crouched down on one knee. He watched the bears, and the bears watched him. This continued for some time until he nodded for someone to open a corner of the temporary fencing. He stepped inside the fence and sat on the ground right by the opening.

Montana started to laugh. He couldn't help it. He could kill this bear expert with one swipe of his paw and this guy was just sitting there.

Montana turned to fetch a bag of potato chips to enjoy this show of what his bros will do to this guy, when the crowd all oooed like the Bearinator just did something totally awesome.

Montana was starting to think humans were either incredibly stupid or all of them were suffering heat stroke because they couldn't get to the swimming hole.

Montana reached for the bag of potato chips, and the Bearinator walking on all fours moved a little closer to the water.

Then, suddenly, there was a loud bang from behind Montana, and everything went crazy.

The Poop Scoop: Bad News Bears

Hey all!

I have been watching the news for awhile - what else to do in this heat but stay inside right? I noticed a trend taking place. I call it Bad News Bears! First there was the one where the Colorado bear broke into a car July 22, 2010 to get at a peanut butter sandwich, disengaged the brake and went hurtling down a hillside whilst honking the horn for 45 minutes. Here are 2 links for evidence!

http://www.mercurynews.com/breaking-news/ci_15590774?nclick_check=1

http://www.musclecarblog.com/1463-sandwiches-bears-and-wrecked-cars-oh-my

Yosemite National park has reported a six fold increase in 6 years -more than 1,100 car break -ins last year alone! It is said they attack a car an average of one every 8 hours. The funny thing is that they seem to prefer Toyotas and Hondas due to their lightweight construction- making the vehicles just a tin can for their super powerful claws and jaws.Park Ranger Shelton Johnson says that one generation of bears is teaching the next how to do this, as it is part of the foraging skills and bears are quite good mommas.All the way back in Oct. 2009 in Colorado a couple reported their car was being stolen but no it was...you guessed it- a bear! here is a link with PHOTOS!

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/worldnews/article-1220863/Car-thief-actually-bear.html

Another incident occurred in Baker Lake Washington State earlier this August. A bear found a cooler and full of 2 types of beer. Now this is a bear with fancy taste. He drank 36... yes 36! Rainer Beers! he left the Busch Beer alone- but only after tasting one, and leaving the can partially finished. No other Busch beers were harmed. This particular bear was then found ... passed out on the lawn of Baker Lake Resort in the midst of his drunken destruction. Park rangers could not get the bear out of there- until he slept it off!!!!!! They could only get him to leave by putting more Rainer through the forest. Along with doughnuts for that hangover. Ok, they can open door handles. But if these bears have developed a taste for high priced beer, how are they going to feed (read PAY) for their addiction? Here is how: An attempted bear perpetrated carjacking

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OssNau9_NxI

The Russian bear contingent seems much more organized and evolved, not to mention brave.

http://englishrussia.com/index.php/2006/08/21/russian-bears-stop-cars-and-demand-food-photo/

I have a theory about these shenanigans. I think all of these have somehow been influenced by a particular Toilet Paper's TV commercials. is it so hard to believe they wouldn't have TV if they are running around doing all of these other things?For years we have been subjected to those TV cartoon commercial bears and their TP adventures- I can only picture a wilderness despoiled by little wads of TP. Then, baby bear has "cling-ons" . Now, while these ads do illustrate the parenting skills of momma bear and her OCD cleanliness fetish, papa bear is now encouraging Jr. to destroy the environment by soaking up a lake with the TP from a canoe and killing all of the fish. I wonder what they brought the TP onto the canoe for in the first place. These bears must be POOPING IN THE WATER- EW!

A list of newly the acquired bear skill-set

• opening car doors


• disengaging a brake


• honking for help


• carjacking


• beer preferences and opening cans


• safe canoe operation


• toilet paper usage

Ok I can admit the last 2 were obviously done by cartoon bears ( and we are not even going into all that Yogi has done through the years), but why would the bears be limited to anything? After mulling this over for some time now, I have come to a conclusion. Is it really so far fetched to think that 'SMOKEY' the Bear was actually responsible for a forest fire by a carelessly tossed cigarette and those PSA's were his community service? You don't see them so much anymore do you? So he must have completed his sentence. Seriously, though is cigarette smoking so hard to believe when they have video evidence off the examples above. What will all this lead to? 12 step programs for the ursine populace? Bear interventions? Cub lockups? Its quite obvious they know what they are doing and perhaps have been smarter than we knew all along and were just stringing us along at the zoo and circus to keep their crime sprees under wraps and non prosecutable . I think the proliferation of video cameras and camera phones is about to blow the lid off of this plot by the bears. But by then they will probably know how to use those too.

Lorin

DoodyPops.etsy.com