Ask The Petsjubilee Pets: Feeding Schedules

Warning: The advice and comments in the Ask The Petsjubilee Pets posts are for fun only and not meant in any way to represent real advice. Since the pets are the ones responding to the questions, the humans shall and forever remain blameless for whatever the animals post.

Last week A fellow canine had this problem:

Dear Sasha -
I sure hope you can help me. I'm a really smart dog, for the most part. I even learned how to tell time - people time, but apparently, my folks don't know how to. For instance, at 5:30 am, I have breakfast. At 6, I have 3 peanuts, at 6:15, I get one rice krispie and one cheerio. At 7:30, I get second breakfast, and so on and so forth. The problem is, my parents are starting to slack off on my schedule. I sit there and stare at them, trying to use telepathy to jar their memories. When that fails, I start whining and doing a little agitated dance. After that I start whining louder and more insistently. My problem is, this seems to upset mommy and daddy and then they get further behind on my schedule, or even worse, they laugh at my antics like I'm trying to be cute or something. What can I do to get my parents back on schedule without irritating them so much (or without getting laughed at)?
just call me Whiny Wonderdog

This is our response:

Dear Whiny Wonderdog,
This is such a problem here, too. We gets breakfast when we wakes up about 8:30 am. Mommy is pretty good about that cause we won't poo for her until she feeds us. However, we expect dinner kibble in our bowls at 4:00 pm exactly. We even start reminding her around a half hour before by sitting on her feet, whining, dancing, and we start getting excited when she gets up and doing circles around our bowls. However, if she gets busy on the computer we get the grumpy "You aren't going to starve to death go lay down." We have our schedule and we are sticking to it no matter what the humans do. So we go bug Grandma who will make Mommy feed us.

However, if you don't have a grandma handy then not sure how that idea will work. So here is plan B and it is what my big brother Charlie does. Pretend like you are going to throw up. Just cough up a bit of spit to make it look like you have nothing in your tummy and it is making you sick. Charlie always gets a bite of bread or whatever when he does that. Then, he trots away and smiles when the humans aren't looking. He always tells me that it is snack food on demand with every "pukeformance".

Hope this helps.

Your friend in fur,
SassySashadoxie

So far no other letters have come in this week. I is thinking if we don't have letters next week. I might have to do a pup quiz!

Please, e-mail your questions for Ask The Petsjubilee Pets to SassySashadoxie@yahoo.com. Also, please put APP in the subject of the letter so I don't have to open up e-mails about money requests to Nigeria. Apparently, SPAM e-mails even come to wiener dogs.