Warning: The advice and comments in the Ask The Petsjubilee Pets posts are for fun only and not meant in any way to represent real advice. Since the pets are the ones responding to the questions, the humans shall and forever remain blameless for whatever the animals post.
Well, we got e-mail this week. Woohoo! But, first things first. Last week my wienie friend asked this question:
To Sasha And Any Other Critter Out There:
Why do my paws smell like corn chips? Also, why does my mommy likes to smell them? She puts her nose right on my little paws and sniffs and sniffs. Seriously, it is not the same thing as sniffing butts and you knows human noses aren't cold or wet like ours so it feels so gross when they put their warm noses on our sensitive tootsies. Any help would be greatly appreciated.
Dear Frito Feet,
I have often wondered what the humans fascination is with our paws anyways. Seriously, you knows the good smelling stuff is what we roll on in the backyard. But, just for you I did some research on-line and you know those human science geeks think that the corn chip smell comes from bacteria and yeast. Really!! Apparently, these little no see-ums like to multiply and let some "gasses" loose in damp, warm, dark places like cute, furry little paws or the inside of ears. Most of the time all you get is the lovely smell of corn chips, but sometimes it can lead to nasty skin infections. YUCK!!
So you know how some of us dogs don't like to get our paws wet. This is actually a good thing. Cause the wetter the paws the more these corn chip smelling gas producers like to reproduce.
So my advice is keep your paws clean and dry as pawsible and of course sleep all stretched out in the middle of the big bed so the air gets to them. Cause, you know once the corn chip smell goes away so does the pesty paw huffing human. No worries though, I hears the humans cook more bacon when they can't get their frito feet fix.
Your friend in fur,
Next, week we will answer this one:
I am overcome with grief. When I was a babe, my mom used to let me run and play all the time in the living room. It was so fun! I zoomed around the sofa, behind the computer table then across the wide expanse to another sofa. I would jump straight up in the air and then zoom some more. Oh...those were the days! As I'm sure you understand, there are times when one must relieve themselves. So I carefully chose a spot out of the way, unnoticeable to anyone and peed and pooed there. It became MY bathroom, if you will. Well, one day when my mom was trying to look for me to put me away, she happened upon my bathroom. It was not cool. She shouted my name and told me I was a bad boy. She said I could no longer race around except in the kitchen on this cold, slippery linoleum junk. YUCK! To make matters worse, she lets my sister run around still! The other sister is so fat she just sits there, so it's easy to see if she if went potty. But, of course, she doesn't because she's a girl and girls are perfect.....blah, blah,blah. Is there any way I can convince my mom to let me have my old racing route back?
Pooped out Piggie in Ohio
Please, e-mail your questions for Ask The Petsjubilee Pets to SassySashadoxie@yahoo.com. Also, please put APP in the subject of the letter so I don't have to open up e-mails about money requests to Nigeria. Apparently, SPAM e-mails even come to wiener dogs.