Saturday, September 4, 2010

Ask The Petsjubilee Pets: Tummy Kisses Yuck!

Warning: The advice and comments in the Ask The Petsjubilee Pets posts are for fun only and not meant in any way to represent real advice. Since the pets are the ones responding to the questions, the humans shall and forever remain blameless for whatever the animals post.

As promised from last week, we are answering this letter:

Dear Sasha,
Whenever I lay on my back trying to cool off my under parts, my human has to come over and kiss my belly. Then she pulls all 4 of my feet one at a time making these silly noises. How do I get her to stop doing this?
annoyed and embarrassed

Dear annoyed and embarrassed,

Don't you just hate it when humans do the belly kissing and that other thing. I think they call it "raspberries". I know from personal experience there is a few special ways to deal with this bad human behavior problem. Unfortunately, most will get you in trouble. With humans you need to do it at the same time as they are doing the naughty behavior. I hear they don't seem to understand delayed consequences like chewing up a purse strap when they aren't looking. Here are my suggestions:

1.) Cover up in cute doggy outfits. The more frilly and over the top on cuteness the better. Usually, they are so pleased that you look like them that they forget all about the belly kisses. However, it does have the "Loser" effect among the Alpha dogs in the neighborhood.

2.) The moment the human goes in for the belly kissing, start licking either the inside of the human's ear or your butt. Both are a quick turn offs to the humans. However, this may result in getting your teeth cleaned or your butt squeezed cause you know humans are slow to learn new behaviors.

3.) Last resort, pee in her face. I haven't personally done this and I suspect it would lead to a major time out. However, I have heard that the human pups (also known as babies) do it and it works big time.

I do hope these suggestions help.

Your Friend In Fur,

Next Sunday we will be answering this letter and hopefully a few more (hint hint):

Dear Sasha- I has a bit of an embarrassing problem...I eats my own poo :( I just can't stops myself. Mommy and daddy get so mad at me and scold me and threaten to withholds treats from me. I don't wants them to be angers at me, but to me, its recycling - I just doin' MY part to helps the vironment...ok, thats a fib - I just has to eat anything and everything, rusty nails, bark off the tree, etc. How can I learn to lay off the poo? I think my folks would be most happy if I did that. Arrooooo to you and Charlie.just sign meBad Breath Beagle

Please, e-mail your questions for Ask The Petsjubilee Pets to Also, please put APP in the subject of the letter.

Click on the picture below to get to a special treasury featuring Cute Pet Outfits On ETSY.


makingstuffwithlove said...

Sasha, I don't know where you come up with all your wonderful and helpful advice :) You explain yourself so well lol It ALWAYS brings a laugh! Well done!!

laughingfridge said...

That sounds like excellent advice to me, Sasha! I also like to do the tongue up the nose as soon as my mommy gets close to my belly, bol.

Your furry friend, Hannah

doodypops said...

wow! that was so funny! great advice too! You really get it from a dogs perspective Sasha!

Three Wishes Collective said...

Great advice, Sasha! You think of everything :)

tail wags,

Giupetto and Gianna Tails said...

Well, I better keep my Giupetto away from the computer so he does not read these answers. LOL This was too funny.
Yes, the ear thing does get me crazy, and yes, also that toungue up the nose thing. LOL

Art and Sew Forth said...

Good thing Tooey, CG, or Thea didn't write that letter. I won't let them see it I am one of THOSE humans. I ALWAYS pet their bellies when I pick them up and kiss them there. Since they can't wear dresses and don't have long enough tongues for the other suggestion, that leaves answer #3. No way!

AngelPups said...

Why does it always come down to having to pee on someone or something to get these people to understand? Ahh, if we could only speak Human.....

Big Mac, Molly & Moxie!

HappyDapperDogs said...

LOL...good thing you wrote a disclaimer...We pet parents wouldn't want any of our precocious pets to read and follow some of the advice given!!