DEAR GOD: IT'S ME ... THE DOG
Dear God: Is it on purpose that our names are spelled the same? Only in reverse?
Dear God: Why do humans smell the flowers, but seldom, if ever, smell each other?
Dear God: When we get to heaven, can we sit on the couch? Or will it be the same old story?
Dear God: Why are there cars named after the jaguar, the cougar, the mustang, the colt, the sting ray and the rabbit, but not ONE named for a dog? How often do you see a cougar riding around? We love a nice car ride! Would it be so hard to rename the 'Chrysler Eagle' the 'Chrysler Beagle'?
Dear God: If a dog barks his head off in the forest and no human hears him, is he still a bad dog?
Dear God: We dogs can understand human verbal instructions, hand signals, whistles, horns, clickers, beepers, scent IDs, electromagnetic energy fields, and frisbee flight paths. What do humans understand?
Dear God: More meatballs, less spaghetti please.
Dear God: Are there mailmen in heaven? If there are, will I have to apologize?
Dear God: Here is a list of
just some of the things I must remember
to be a good Dog:
1. I will not eat the cat's food before he eats
it or after he throws it up.
2. I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish,
crabs, etc., just because I like the way they smell.
3. The Litter Box is not a cookie jar.
4. The sofa is not a 'face towel'.
5. The garbage collector is not stealing our stuff.
6. I will not play tug-of-war with Dad's
underwear when he's on the toilet.
7. Sticking my nose into someone's
crotch is an unacceptable way of saying 'hello'.
8. I don't need to suddenly stand
straight up when I'm under the coffee table..
9. I must shake the rainwater out of my fur before
entering the house - not after.
10. I will not come in from outside,
and immediately drag my butt across the carpet.
11. I will not sit in the middle of the living
room, and lick my crotch.
12. The cat is not a 'squeaky toy',
so when I play with him and he makes that noise,
it's usually not a good thing.
