Ask The Petsjubilee Pets

Warning: The advice and comments in the Ask The Petsjubilee Pets posts are for fun only and not meant in any way to represent real advice. Since the pets are the ones responding to the questions, the humans shall and forever remain blameless for whatever the animals post.

As promised from last week, we are answering this letter:

Dear Sasha,

I am a dachshund mix hound dog. I was rescued and have been living with my new family since I was a pup, about 7 years. My problem started about 6 months ago when my family took in another puppy, a Yorkie named, we’ll call him John. He isn’t nice to me at all. I’ve got tons of seniority (and weight) on him, but he acts like he’s the boss. He won’t let me sleep on the bed with my mom where I have always slept, so now I am on the floor with the big dog. Grrrr… I am last in line for treats, behind the big dog and my used-to-be best friend, we’ll call him Mo, and this new ’boss’. He and ’Mo’ are best friends now and seem to leave me out of the fun. Now I have to admit, I’m not the life of the party -- sometimes I can even be a little neurotic, but this disrespect seems to be growing. What can I do?

The Disgusted Dachshund

Dear The Disgusted Dachshund,

I have been furplexed with your issue since I gots your letter. We dachshunds need the top dog treatment at all times. I was the new pup on the block whens Mommy brought me home so of course I lets my big brother Charlie knows I was going to be top dog right away. Most of the time he seems fine with his place in the pack though.

I knows lots of the peeps on the team said they would so take you in and make you feel special, but the pets all agree that there really is only one thing you should do. "Play sick". Not really sick, just do a few things you don't normally do. Like eat a bunch of grass, do that little cough sound like you are going to puke, jump off of the furniture and do a small little limp, or the best one of all drag the butt on the carpet. It is bound to get quite a bit of attention from the humans when ever needed.

The key is timing. Do it right when the other dogs are getting the attention. But, not too long doing it or they will take you to the vet or give you the yucky pink medicine.

I hope this helps.

Your Friend In Fur,
SassySashaDoxie

Please, e-mail your questions for Ask The Petsjubilee Pets to SassySashadoxie@yahoo.com. Also, please put APP in the subject of the letter.